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6.26.2015

Dinosaur Simulator: Quick Review (Android)

Jurassic What?!? 

     With all the Jurassic Park stuff experiencing a resurgence due to Jurassic World's billion dollar box office destruction, I've decided to look into some other odd dinosaur related games and came across this wonderful gem- Dinosaur Simulator.


     Dinosaur Simulator is made by Big Baja Apps, a company known for exciting other free games such as Wolf Simulator, Werewolf SimulatorBear Simulator, Shark Simulator, and Crocodile Simulator.  It is along the lines of the very well known Goat Simulator game, where the only real task is to run amok and wreak hilarious havoc in whatever locale you happen to be in.  They're pretty much all the same- cheap graphics and silly gameplay- just enough to keep you entertained for half an hour.

Is that a Tyrannosaurus Rex in your pocket?


     Sadly no, in this particular case you play as a Carnotaurus, not the stated and advertised T-Rex their official app page shows, but that's close enough I suppose.  The dinosaur you play as is tasked with bringing giant destruction to a city in a limited time period.  There are currently only 2 maps, with very little to differentiate between the two, and the choice of playing either daytime or nighttime, which also doesn't really change anything other than the lighting.

     In the small time period given your job is generally to wreck as much as possible.  There are numerous "levels" with specific tasks such as "Knock Over 20 Street Lights" or "Find 15 Fire Hydrants."  It doesn't change much as all the levels are the same 2 maps and all the fun is actually in running around accidentally demolishing everything in your path.  Time can be extended by finding carrots growing in the ground, and there's even a semi-secret area on The City map, a small farm house with gourds and water tower.


     The controls are mediocre, and often times a bit laggy.  There is also a completely useless jump button.  The jump isn't high enough to make it even a fraction of the way to the top of anything you can't break, so why is it even there?

     As far as gameplay goes, it is a bit sluggish and stuttery running on the Galaxy Note 3, but the graphics are fairly clean and the sound effects continuously brought a laugh- all the weird POINK sounds of knocking things over and, most notably, the extremely questionable juicy fart noise that happens when you run over a human.

     Overall, Dinosaur Simulator is simply a ridiculous waste of time, but a mildly entertaining one at that.

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