7.16.2012
Dark Knight Rises: Bane vs. Batman
Not gonna lie, I think this is Bane's master plan. He's trying to get Batman into the ring for some serious WWF or WWE wrestling championship match. Maybe that thing on Bane's head is a mouthguard and ear protector combo. Can't be getting cauliflower ear while giving Batman the beatdown of his life during Gotham's Rumble-fest 2012.
This ultimate showdown needs to be dramatic, not gross. Safety first and whatnot.
It'll probably go like this: Zap! Bam! Pow! *Atomic leg drop* *Backbreaker* *Paralyzed Batman gets a job announcing matches and coaching until he gets better* and finishes with... *Batman uses a Drop toe-hold into a Sharpshooter leg hold* and Bane taps out in disappointing failure. The Heavy Weight Champion of Gotham is Batman.
I wonder about Bane's crazy ass mask. Apparently it's feeding him painkillers, but I think otherwise. Maybe it's hiding a nasty light blonde molester moustache. A molestache? Sounds about right. Extra creepy.
Or what if it's just a massive set of orthodontic headgear braces? Hhmmm... that would explain why he is so pissed off all the time.
On a serious note, I hope Mr. Nolan knocks this one out of the park. Reviews are saying as much, but I'll wait until I've actually seen it for a review. By review, I mean a bunch of random thoughts about the movie. Super excited as it's just a few days away.
Interestingly I wonder if they'll bring in an Azrael type character towards the end... Doubtful, but oh well.
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