I was hugged today. It was by a young lady in a bear suit.
So I suppose it would be Hannah the HUGGER, but that doesn't have the same ring to it.
Say it out loud: Har-old the HUG-GER!
I was waiting at a stoplight on my bicycle, minding my own business, when all of the sudden it was Guerilla Warfare with cuteness. There was a great blur of brown fur, like an adorable wraith, appearing out of nowhere, and dive-tackling me with hugs. All soft and fluffy, it was horrible. I was almost knocked off my bike. I barely managed to escape being mauled by a 5 ft. Snuggle Bear with sanity intact. Quite embarrassing actually.
Then it tried to get me to buy some trinkets from a massive garage sale.
Great, now everyone will know I was attacked by the mythic Cuddle Beast of Coon Rapids in broad daylight. Yet another encounter with a little known Minnesota Monster with poor marketing skills. This is like the time I had a tea party with a Bigfoot in my neighbor's tree fort. He was out door-to-door selling magazines for a fundraiser.
Usually nobody believes me, but this time I have photographic evidence.
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